On The Road Agaiin...and Again...and Again.

My wife and I can get lost in a parking lot. And, I don't mean one of those huge, hectares and hectares of parking space common to a super, mega store or a major league ball park; I am talking about the small parking lots like the one in front of the B&B Hotel were we stayed on the way home from Paris; here is a scene from our latest drama:

"Where's the car?" asks my wife in an alarmed tone.

"Right in front of the room" I answer confidently.

"No, its not," she tells me.

Now I am alarmed. I jump out of bed and go to the window. The car is not there. The worst thoughts run through my head: it has been stolen, all our baggage is gone, my computer, my Ipad! Augh! Disaster has been visited upon us! What shall we do? What shall we do?

We go outside and verify that the car is NOT in front of the room.

"Wait," I say. "Exactly what did we do last night?"

"We went out to dinner,that's all."

"And when we came back we came in that way," I say pointing out to the West.

"No, we came in that gate over there," she says pointing to the East.

We then run around the hotel parking lot like chickens chased by a fox. And, there was the car, on the other side of the hotel.

"How did the car get here?" asks my wife.

I sigh, "I guess we were on the wrong side of the hotel when we came back from dinner last night, and we decided to just leave the car there. Then, we forgot."

It believe that had I stayed twenty years in the Sea Scouts, and my wife had stayed as many years in the Girl Scouts, neither one of us would have gotten a merit badge in map reading or compass direction expertise.

For example, today we left Paris. I had studied the directions given on the Mappy App I have on my Ipad. I had scouted the exit from the city when I took a bus ride into town and saw that there were BIG BLUE SIGNS reading A10 (Bordeaux). It was as if the traffic people of Paris knew we were in town and that dumb clucks like us need explicit and unmistakable signs to be able to leave the city without any mishaps.

I also loaded up our GPS with the route Paris-Biarritz and as soon as we started the car it began to give us directions. It too seemed to take for granted that we are less than skilful at direction finding and it seemed almost to say, "Now listen carefully, you dumb clucks, and follow my directions explicitly or you will get lost, as you usually do."

So, off we went. Just go straight as indicated by the GPS and there will be no trouble, I thought. A couple of blocks from the house, the GPS told us to turn right and then to "suivre cette route" (follow that road) until further instructions.

The first part, we did fine. It was on the "until further instructions" part that things started to get out of hand: We came to a fork on the road. I saw a sign, a blue sign. The GPS kept shouting to follow the route, my wife kept urging me to go right, I saw the sign on the left, I turned left! Augh! Wrong turn, now we were headed for center city Paris. The GPS is urging me to turn around at the nearest roundabout. Now my wife was on the phone asking her son in law for help. "We took the wrong road. We are lost!"

I spotted a traffic light with an indication that one could turn left. At the urging of the GPS, I made a "demi-tour" and headed back the way we came. As by a miracle, a huge, blue sign appeared before us. It read, "A10 Bordeaux".

"Ah," we sighed in relief.

My wife said, "It wouldn't surprise me if the GPS said we are a pair of idiots."

"And, rightly so," I grudgingly admitted.

But once on the right road, I cockily said, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," agreed my wife. Her phone rang. Son-n-law wanted to know if we were OK. She cheerily told her all was well with the world.

A few moments later, she asked, "Why did you turn of the road="

"I saw a blue sign," I explained.

"Did you? and what did it say?"

"Well, it was blue and it was big, so I thought it was for the A10 Bordeaux highway. Unfortunately, they also put up big blue signs for Versailles."

"Ah, don't believe every big, blue sign you see, eh?"

"No, I guess not," I said sheepishly.

"Why didn't you go where I told you to go?" She asked.

"Because I didn't believe you. You always get us into trouble."

"But, I wouldn't have this time," she said.

I had to agree she was right.

Tomorrow we follow The Road to Compunction.